voices in my head
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Having Emily with us was like having an angel in the house: a fallen one! Her antics kept Sharon and I on our toes and disrupted the trouble free relationship that Pippa and Kaiti had fallen into, which basically consisted of them ignoring one another. Emily however, could not be ignored and insisted on muscling in on everything that went on in the house.
I have since speculated that perhaps it was the proximity of this loveable ‘little devil’ that caused the idea of angels to once more resurface in my consciousness.
Ironically, my apparent encounter on the road from Flagstaff had actually marked a cessation of interest. I read no more books and thought no more about them. I ‘dined out’ on the story many times, always ending with the cliff-hanger line “So what do you think the Blazer driver was then?” and offering no explanation of my own. These were the only occasions on which angels filtered into my thoughts and I became more interested in First Nations culture and history.
Seemingly by chance I met up with an ex colleague. We agreed to have lunch and after the usual mundane discussions of who’d done what, she revealed to me that she had experienced a telephone session of something called ‘channelling’ with a lady in America. Apparently this woman was some kind of go between who was able to transmit messages from the angelic realms into our own. My friend had talked with her for an hour and received guidance that she found inspiring and nurturing. The channel had spoken in another voice and seemed to assume wisdom beyond that which she could have known as a human being. Despite my copious reading, I had no recollection of ever hearing of this before. I knew quite well what a medium was (and I’d even been to see the world famous medium and author Doris Stokes on stage twenty years previously) but I hadn’t realised you could actually talk to angels.
That night as I relayed the tale to Sharon, I was careful to inject the right amount of semi-mocking tone into my voice; I didn’t want her to think I actually believed in the reality of my colleague’s experience. In her Catholic charismatic days at University I knew that she had been involved with people who had ‘spoken in tongues’, which I imagined might be something similar; but I was still conscious of the fact that she might decry this as some kind of heresy. Quite contrary to my expectations she seemed to find the whole story riveting and asked many questions. What then followed was a verbal dance around one another, each trying to discover precisely how credible the other found the idea of channelling and how interested the other was in actually experiencing it. It didn’t take too long to become clear that both of us found it fascinating and both of us would like to have a session with the woman my friend had been in touch with. Perhaps this could be as exciting as some of those ‘fairy stories’ I’d read a few years back!
The very next day we got on the internet and arranged a convenient time for a session with the lady and paid in advance for a one hour channelling. In the email exchanges that followed we were told that we could pretty much ask anything that we liked with the exception of questions that involved predictions for our future. It was also recommended that we plan our questions in advance since the experience might have the potential to leave us tongue-tied.
About two weeks later at the appointed hour we put in our transatlantic call and a friendly voice welcomed us and explained what would happen. Then after a few moments pause, her voice changed slightly and we were speaking to an angel. Over the course of the next sixty minutes we asked questions on a wide variety of subjects that affected our lives. The experience was revealing, supportive and helpful. It was all very matter of fact and when it was over, we simply thanked the lady who had now returned to being herself and hung up.
The conversations about that call went on for months. In hindsight I find it odd that we questioned not one single aspect of the veracity of the messages we were given. We had no doubt at all that the experience was genuine. But apart from the friend who had led us to this lady in the first place, we told nobody about our session.
Then, seemingly by chance once again, I met up with an ex boss. I had not seen him for twenty five years and we arranged to meet for lunch. I had always admired this individual as he was a very down to earth sort of person, in actual fact an accountant, so perhaps that was to be expected! We had lot of catching up to do and the conversation flowed easily. Then after about an hour and with no warning that something strange was coming, he told me that he and his wife were deeply into ‘new age’ matters. They were both involved with a particular new age teacher whose name I recognised due to owning a copy of one of his books. The author was big into angels. I was initially a little incredulous that my friend, who in many ways was so ‘ordinary’, could now be relating these extraordinary things to me. I hid my surprise well, privately thinking him quite brave to allow me to be privy to such personal information. If I held these kinds of beliefs, I certainly wouldn’t be so forthcoming in admitting it! So as to make him feel that I was empathetic to what he was sharing I began to reveal some of my own experiences that could be described as broadly spiritual in nature. We swapped a few stories and then I told him about the channelling we had paid for, believing that the strangeness of it all would level the playing field between us. But in my friend’s eyes it seemed a totally normal thing to have done. He regularly attended channelling sessions with an Archangel called Michael.
A few bells started to ring at this time because the lady we’d had the session with also channelled a ‘Michael’, although she hadn’t said that it was Archangel Michael. I was interested by some of the synchronicities between our lives, particularly the element of searching for spiritual meaning. After a pleasant few hours we parted and whilst walking to the Underground in London, I rang Sharon to relay my experience. However, she was too caught up in her own discoveries: while I had been away, and at almost precisely the time that I had been discussing these matters with my friend, she had been mulling over our channelling and had found herself on the internet. Once there she discovered the website of a lady called Ronna Herman who channelled an Archangel called Michael! Sharon was very excited as messages intended for all were displayed on the website and she couldn’t wait for me to get home to see them.
Curiously, when I got home a few hours later, I was totally unengaged by the site. I didn’t want to read the messages and I didn’t feel drawn to it in any way. Sharon was disappointed and tried to persuade me to get into it, but I would have none of it. It was a few days later I noticed that the site was saved on my internet favourites list so I highlighted the name so as to delete it. By accident the site was called up again and just as I was about to close it, I happened to notice a tab which indicated that Ronna ran seminars. I guess it was the professional presenter in me that wanted to know more, but whatever the reason, I went to have a look. I had the impression that the content was vague, intangible and certainly incomprehensible to me. So I was more than a little surprised at myself that within half an hour, I had signed up to go to a two day event in Rotterdam. It was a mere three weeks away. I didn’t know why I was going; I didn’t know what I would discover; I didn’t even really want to go.
Nevertheless, go I did. On the day it began I found myself the only Brit in a room with over two hundred other Europeans, feeling like a fish out of water. A lot of them seemed to know each other and the material presented by Ronna seemed second nature to them. To me it was somewhat esoteric and rather mysterious but I found that I understood most of it. I took some notes and found the concepts fascinating. The fact that it was in English was a big plus, but I didn’t interact with my fellow attendees. They were without doubt a very pleasant and accepting group, tolerant of a fellow European who only spoke one language when they all spoke at least two or three. But by my down to earth standards some seemed to be a little off the wall. Worse still, some were prone to toe curlingly embarrassing moments of emotional expression which, to a stiff upper lipped Brit, were just too much.
On the last day our host announced that we would be doing something called an ‘activation meditation’. Apparently this would involve some kind of guided meditation that would enable us to channel angels for ourselves. I was more than a little incredulous that this was possible; but since I was there and I’d paid for it, I’d try anything once! When we began I felt a little self-conscious at being told to close our eyes. I peeped at those around me and they all seemed to be taking it perfectly seriously so I toed the line and followed suit. The experience of being guided by the visual imagery that her words suggested was certainly an enjoyable one. It went on for maybe twenty minutes and it was very peaceful and relaxing. Ultimately though, I was left with a feeling of disappointment: when we were ‘brought back’ from the meditation, nothing had changed and the activation, for me at least, had failed.
The weekend ended with Ronna giving a lengthy message channelled from Archangel Michael. It was very impressive, very interesting and certainly a highlight of the weekend. I would have plenty to tell Sharon about when I got home.
It transpired that Sharon had a feeling that something ‘big’ would result from me going to this seminar, although she couldn’t define what. I was able to relate the learning points from my two and a half pages of notes but she was equally disappointed that there was no tangible result. I think she hoped that I would change as a result of it and become more angelic myself. No such luck! So passing the event off as merely an interesting experience, our lives returned to our normal routine of looking after three dogs, two cats and two kids. And life may well have stayed in this comfortably normalcy had it not been for the fact that five months later, whilst sitting talking to Sharon at our kitchen table, a voice in my head that was unrecognisable as my own, said “May I?” Apparently my head dropped to my chest and the next thing I knew was that Sharon was staring at me with an awed expression. For the last five minutes I had been speaking with someone else’s voice
I have since speculated that perhaps it was the proximity of this loveable ‘little devil’ that caused the idea of angels to once more resurface in my consciousness.
Ironically, my apparent encounter on the road from Flagstaff had actually marked a cessation of interest. I read no more books and thought no more about them. I ‘dined out’ on the story many times, always ending with the cliff-hanger line “So what do you think the Blazer driver was then?” and offering no explanation of my own. These were the only occasions on which angels filtered into my thoughts and I became more interested in First Nations culture and history.
Seemingly by chance I met up with an ex colleague. We agreed to have lunch and after the usual mundane discussions of who’d done what, she revealed to me that she had experienced a telephone session of something called ‘channelling’ with a lady in America. Apparently this woman was some kind of go between who was able to transmit messages from the angelic realms into our own. My friend had talked with her for an hour and received guidance that she found inspiring and nurturing. The channel had spoken in another voice and seemed to assume wisdom beyond that which she could have known as a human being. Despite my copious reading, I had no recollection of ever hearing of this before. I knew quite well what a medium was (and I’d even been to see the world famous medium and author Doris Stokes on stage twenty years previously) but I hadn’t realised you could actually talk to angels.
That night as I relayed the tale to Sharon, I was careful to inject the right amount of semi-mocking tone into my voice; I didn’t want her to think I actually believed in the reality of my colleague’s experience. In her Catholic charismatic days at University I knew that she had been involved with people who had ‘spoken in tongues’, which I imagined might be something similar; but I was still conscious of the fact that she might decry this as some kind of heresy. Quite contrary to my expectations she seemed to find the whole story riveting and asked many questions. What then followed was a verbal dance around one another, each trying to discover precisely how credible the other found the idea of channelling and how interested the other was in actually experiencing it. It didn’t take too long to become clear that both of us found it fascinating and both of us would like to have a session with the woman my friend had been in touch with. Perhaps this could be as exciting as some of those ‘fairy stories’ I’d read a few years back!
The very next day we got on the internet and arranged a convenient time for a session with the lady and paid in advance for a one hour channelling. In the email exchanges that followed we were told that we could pretty much ask anything that we liked with the exception of questions that involved predictions for our future. It was also recommended that we plan our questions in advance since the experience might have the potential to leave us tongue-tied.
About two weeks later at the appointed hour we put in our transatlantic call and a friendly voice welcomed us and explained what would happen. Then after a few moments pause, her voice changed slightly and we were speaking to an angel. Over the course of the next sixty minutes we asked questions on a wide variety of subjects that affected our lives. The experience was revealing, supportive and helpful. It was all very matter of fact and when it was over, we simply thanked the lady who had now returned to being herself and hung up.
The conversations about that call went on for months. In hindsight I find it odd that we questioned not one single aspect of the veracity of the messages we were given. We had no doubt at all that the experience was genuine. But apart from the friend who had led us to this lady in the first place, we told nobody about our session.
Then, seemingly by chance once again, I met up with an ex boss. I had not seen him for twenty five years and we arranged to meet for lunch. I had always admired this individual as he was a very down to earth sort of person, in actual fact an accountant, so perhaps that was to be expected! We had lot of catching up to do and the conversation flowed easily. Then after about an hour and with no warning that something strange was coming, he told me that he and his wife were deeply into ‘new age’ matters. They were both involved with a particular new age teacher whose name I recognised due to owning a copy of one of his books. The author was big into angels. I was initially a little incredulous that my friend, who in many ways was so ‘ordinary’, could now be relating these extraordinary things to me. I hid my surprise well, privately thinking him quite brave to allow me to be privy to such personal information. If I held these kinds of beliefs, I certainly wouldn’t be so forthcoming in admitting it! So as to make him feel that I was empathetic to what he was sharing I began to reveal some of my own experiences that could be described as broadly spiritual in nature. We swapped a few stories and then I told him about the channelling we had paid for, believing that the strangeness of it all would level the playing field between us. But in my friend’s eyes it seemed a totally normal thing to have done. He regularly attended channelling sessions with an Archangel called Michael.
A few bells started to ring at this time because the lady we’d had the session with also channelled a ‘Michael’, although she hadn’t said that it was Archangel Michael. I was interested by some of the synchronicities between our lives, particularly the element of searching for spiritual meaning. After a pleasant few hours we parted and whilst walking to the Underground in London, I rang Sharon to relay my experience. However, she was too caught up in her own discoveries: while I had been away, and at almost precisely the time that I had been discussing these matters with my friend, she had been mulling over our channelling and had found herself on the internet. Once there she discovered the website of a lady called Ronna Herman who channelled an Archangel called Michael! Sharon was very excited as messages intended for all were displayed on the website and she couldn’t wait for me to get home to see them.
Curiously, when I got home a few hours later, I was totally unengaged by the site. I didn’t want to read the messages and I didn’t feel drawn to it in any way. Sharon was disappointed and tried to persuade me to get into it, but I would have none of it. It was a few days later I noticed that the site was saved on my internet favourites list so I highlighted the name so as to delete it. By accident the site was called up again and just as I was about to close it, I happened to notice a tab which indicated that Ronna ran seminars. I guess it was the professional presenter in me that wanted to know more, but whatever the reason, I went to have a look. I had the impression that the content was vague, intangible and certainly incomprehensible to me. So I was more than a little surprised at myself that within half an hour, I had signed up to go to a two day event in Rotterdam. It was a mere three weeks away. I didn’t know why I was going; I didn’t know what I would discover; I didn’t even really want to go.
Nevertheless, go I did. On the day it began I found myself the only Brit in a room with over two hundred other Europeans, feeling like a fish out of water. A lot of them seemed to know each other and the material presented by Ronna seemed second nature to them. To me it was somewhat esoteric and rather mysterious but I found that I understood most of it. I took some notes and found the concepts fascinating. The fact that it was in English was a big plus, but I didn’t interact with my fellow attendees. They were without doubt a very pleasant and accepting group, tolerant of a fellow European who only spoke one language when they all spoke at least two or three. But by my down to earth standards some seemed to be a little off the wall. Worse still, some were prone to toe curlingly embarrassing moments of emotional expression which, to a stiff upper lipped Brit, were just too much.
On the last day our host announced that we would be doing something called an ‘activation meditation’. Apparently this would involve some kind of guided meditation that would enable us to channel angels for ourselves. I was more than a little incredulous that this was possible; but since I was there and I’d paid for it, I’d try anything once! When we began I felt a little self-conscious at being told to close our eyes. I peeped at those around me and they all seemed to be taking it perfectly seriously so I toed the line and followed suit. The experience of being guided by the visual imagery that her words suggested was certainly an enjoyable one. It went on for maybe twenty minutes and it was very peaceful and relaxing. Ultimately though, I was left with a feeling of disappointment: when we were ‘brought back’ from the meditation, nothing had changed and the activation, for me at least, had failed.
The weekend ended with Ronna giving a lengthy message channelled from Archangel Michael. It was very impressive, very interesting and certainly a highlight of the weekend. I would have plenty to tell Sharon about when I got home.
It transpired that Sharon had a feeling that something ‘big’ would result from me going to this seminar, although she couldn’t define what. I was able to relate the learning points from my two and a half pages of notes but she was equally disappointed that there was no tangible result. I think she hoped that I would change as a result of it and become more angelic myself. No such luck! So passing the event off as merely an interesting experience, our lives returned to our normal routine of looking after three dogs, two cats and two kids. And life may well have stayed in this comfortably normalcy had it not been for the fact that five months later, whilst sitting talking to Sharon at our kitchen table, a voice in my head that was unrecognisable as my own, said “May I?” Apparently my head dropped to my chest and the next thing I knew was that Sharon was staring at me with an awed expression. For the last five minutes I had been speaking with someone else’s voice